Hopeless Emptiness !!!

The first time I read RR, I was 23 years old--and while I wasn’t a father of two who was stuck in a completely wrong marriage, I nonetheless felt a profound connection to him. This quote sums it up best: “He could even be grateful in a sense that he had no particular area of interest: in avoiding specific goals he had avoided specific limitations” (page 22). Of course, I have a goal but my inability to take the plunge made my early 20s as useless as if I hadn’t felt even a tiny flicker of that urge. Temping at offices, coasting along like a blade of grass in a still pond, my memories of myself in my 20s is of a shamefully deluded child, drinking and talking, drinking and talking, drinking and talking. 

And when I wasn’t talking, I was stuck in my own mind, crafting fantasies and daydreams that excused my passive behavior and allowed me to convince myself that I was still somehow the person I wanted to be. It was the only way I could accept myself. Reading RR helped to see myself for who I really was, and  has inspired me to get off my ass and actually do something with my life...............MT


Hatikvah said...

Excuse the ignorance, but who is RR and who is MT. Since when have you started reading books? On second thoughts, it the second Q dosen't matter as I'm glad that you have...

Tariq said...

RR - Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
MT - Mike Tully, the one who wrote this